Thursday, February 26, 2009

Come On, Get Happy

With some mental exercises and patience, living happier isn't just a pipe dream.

Happiness isn't a shapeless myth that hippies throw around like a Frisbee. Research shows that happy people not only have a better attitude in life but they tend to be healthier and live longer. One study from University College London showed that happiness improves certain bodily functions that help prevent cardiovascular disease and diabetes. And a Yale University study found that optimists live more than seven years longer than pessimists.

Being happier isn't all about money, parties and social status. If you pay attention to doing things that make you happier, keep an open mind and put in the effort, you can be well on your way to loving your life in 30 days. So go ahead and smile, because you're about to embark on a change that can only end in sheer delight.

Training Your Brain

Being happier starts with priming your brain to think happier or positive thoughts. "Whether you like it or not, facts are facts. You might not enjoy the fact you're facing but you can control your emotional response to it. Do it with a positive attitude and you'll get through it a lot quicker than if you agonize and lament over it," says Michael Anthony, author of the e-book How to be Happy and Have Fun Changing the World.

Louise Bluth,* a 37-year-old sales manager, found it difficult to be happier after living through an abusive childhood. "I was always told that I was a failure and a loser, and that I was the shame of the family," she says.

She decided she didn't deserve to be that unhappy and started volunteering for a suicide helpline. Her training stressed the concept of getting into the mind of a suicidal person to be able to show them possible solutions to their problems. "This proved to me that your state of mind could be changed, and so you can become happier," she says. Louise started taking Buddhist meditation classes, where she further learned how to prime her mind for happiness. "I learned that my happiness was up to me," she says.

It's hard to change your mindset overnight, so you might have to draw your positive brain waves out of hiding. One way to do this is by reciting a daily affirmation or a mantra. This statement can be repeated daily to get your brain ready to think happier thoughts.

Fear of Living Happier

There's a fear of failure that people encounter when it comes to being happier. Fear can make you revert to some old, unhealthy habits and behaviors just to enjoy that comfortable feeling again.

"Recognize that fear, recognize that you're human and just put it aside," says Debbie Gisonni, author of The Goddess of Happiness: A Down-to-Earth Guide for Heavenly Balance and Bliss. "Don't think about it. Instead of thinking about what could happen, keep focusing on what you want to happen."

Another way to handle the fears of being happier is through volunteer work. As Anthony says, when you're helping others, "you're being very positive with your time and then there's that satisfaction -- the feeling of greatness that comes from helping others."

When Scott Harrison decided to change his life to be happier, he never realized that he would question everything he held true. In 2004, the New York City resident realized that his work promoting nightclubs and fashion events was utterly unfulfilling. "I was one of the most miserable people I knew," he says.

In order to live a happier life, Scott changed his life drastically. He re-examined his faith and volunteered a year of service as a photographer for Mercy Ships, a non-profit that offers free medical care to poor countries around the world.

"I had to see 5,000 people standing in a field with horrible tumors, cleft lips and palates, the blind, the lame," he says. "I cried a lot, I prayed a lot and I doubted a lot, too. How could a God allow this stuff to happen?"

These tragedies didn't stop Scott from continuing to pursue his dream of helping others. "I was lucky to be able to focus on what we could do -- on the thousands of lives we could and did radically transform," he explains. His change was so successful that he started his own non-profit called "Charity," and Scott feels that he's happiest when he's helping others.

Helpful Happiness Tips

"Active gratitude -- counting your blessings and actually taking time during the day to do so -- is probably the single most important habit," says David Leonhardt, known as "The Happy Guy" and author of Climb Your Stairway to Heaven: The 9 Habits of Maximum Happiness. "From the paperclip to our cars to our health to our freedoms -- if we don't actively appreciate it, then we're not going to get all the happiness out of any other habit or any other change we make."

Being grateful helped Katsuaki Tsukamoto be happier. The 35-year-old carpenter had always felt a bit of emptiness in his life. "I thought I needed to have something or own something to make me happy," he says.

He had an epiphany while on a bike ride one beautiful day. "I suddenly realized that my bicycle was a gift, but more than that, I started feeling that everything was a gift in some sense," he says. "I really felt appreciation for the miracle of the moment and was grateful that I could experience it."

For many, this epiphany doesn't come naturally in the first 30 days. A gratitude journal documenting everything you're grateful for can often help remind you of all the good things in your life. Every day, simply write three to five things that you appreciated about that day.

Happier Living

Your success in the first 30 days and beyond will be dependent on how well you make time for the things that make you happy. Whether it's completing a Sudoku puzzle, catching up with a friend or painting, you should always strive for a balance between the things you have to do and the things you want to do.

Your success won't be measured in this month, but over your lifetime. For Scott, his charity work is so connected to his overall happiness that he no longer views them as mutually exclusive.

"I don't really think about the word 'happiness,' but I guess I am," he says. "It's just what I do now. I love it and can't imagine ever doing anything else."

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