The art of the conversation

Think back to someone with whom you fell in love. Do you remember your first-date conversation? Chances are you may not recall exactly what you talked about, but you remember how the interaction made you feel. Then came love.

When you put your best conversational foot forward, you boost your chances for love. A good conversationalist has more options in love as people are drawn to them. Consider these tips to boost your conversation quotient:

Differences
Recognise overall differences in communication styles between the sexes. According to recent academic research, women are more likely to stay on a single conversation topic, so it’s sometimes up to the man to change the subject. The root of the old chestnut about men never asking for directions when lost is because of their unwillingness to show ignorance. Ladies favor using indirect and suggestive techniques such as, “Are you hungry?” when they would really like to get something to eat. And men, don’t take it personally if she interrupts you: women tend to interrupt more than men.

Body language pointers
If you are interested in your conversation partner, lean toward them when they are talking. It shows your affirmation and interest. Take it up a notch by discretely mirroring or copying their movements on a selected basis. So, if she casually puts her elbow on the bar, you do the same. She’ll feel instant rapport with you whether or not she picks up that you’re mirroring her.

Eyes on the prize
Being a good talker goes hand in hand with good listening. What endears you to your date? Communications expert Leil Lowndes, author of How to Talk to Anyone: 92 Little Tricks for Big Success in Relationships, tells her audiences to consider the “sticky” gaze: Keeping your gaze focused on your conversation partner. Whatever you do, don’t break off eye contact until your partner has finished speaking.

Art of the compliment
According to Lowndes, there are okay compliments and then there are “killer compliments.” These little gems get the undivided attention of their intended recipient because they are delivered privately and are specific. For example, “You look great in purple” is going to be better received than “I like your shirt.” When making a compliment, you’ll show sincerity and indicate your interest in someone when you further the conversation. “That’s great that you study with a weight trainer. It seems good for you” is going to bring out more conversation than the suggestive “You have a great body.” By saying the former line, you’ve left the door open for the recipient to tell more about themselves or the topic at hand.

Smile s-l-o-w-l-y
Lowndes is a fan of not smiling so easily or frequently, something many of us women do, even subconsciously, when it’s first-impression time. Instead, Lowndes advises being stingy with your smiles. When you do smile, break it out slowly. The bonus? You’ll be perceived as being more trustworthy and credible than an ever-smiling person. This slow-to-smile strategy doesn’t work when trying to lure a man in, for example, from across the bar. Here, you need to smile a lot and make eye contact.

Top 10 must-have office gadgets

Whether state-of-the-art technology or just for fun, you'll never want to leave the office when you have these nifty gadgets at your fingertips.

1. Monitor privacy filters
Hate the thought of the nosey parker in the neighbouring cubicle busting you on Facebook? With a privacy filter, your computer screen is only visible to the person sitting directly in front of it, eliminating the threat of prying eyes. Bonus: filters also reduce glare. See:

2. Bluetooth headphones
Imagine a future without having to untangle earphone cables. Fortunately, a slew of electronics brands are making it a reality, with many styles — including iPod-compatible models.

3. Clear post-it notes
Simply stick these transparent, sticky notes onto the page and go crazy with that highlighter, safe in the knowledge that when you remove the note, the document will remain pristine.

4. A PDA-phone with the mostest
While a Blackberry certainly does the job, there're now loads of PDAs on the market. Consult an expert to find a model that will suit your needs, though check out the Apple iPhone, O2 Xda Atom and Telstra Palm.

5. Three-way mouse
The Japanese arm of Canon is set to launch a "foldable mouse", which promises to combine three gadgets in one: a compact mouse, a calculator and a numeral pad. A must-have for accountants everywhere.

6. USB memory stick
There are memory sticks and there are memory sticks. These storage devices have come a long way in the past few years, with most models now having a 2GB data capacity. Memory cards (the ones made for digital cameras and mobile phones), on the other hand, can store around 8GB.

7. Portable mobile chargers
Battery-powered charging docks can be purchased for most mobile phones. Keep it in your desk drawer, handbag or briefcase for emergencies.

8. Bluetooth toggle
If your computer isn't equipped with Bluetooth technology, plug one of these into its USB port to transfer files between your PC and Bluetooth-enabled mobile.

9. USB air freshener
Stale odour in your office? Plug this gadget into your computer's USB port and relax to the scent of aromatherapy oils. Ahhh.

10. Livescribe Pulse Smartpen
This revolutionary gadget links handwritten notes to live audio (think: meetings). Simply tap the pen on your notes later and the Smartpen will play back exactly what was said and when. The only catch is that you need to use special notebooks, which cost US$20 for a four-pack. And the pen will set you back US$150. But who can put a price on this kind of convenience?

Ten ways to update your work wardrobe

Spring has arrived so it's time to update your work look. Here are 10 ways to take your office wardrobe into the new season.

1. Work in florals
There's no better time to embrace florals than in spring, and this season floral prints are in full bloom. Add some life to your work clothes with floral printed tops and dresses (capped or short-sleeved versions work best for work wear) and add a lightweight jacket and belt to make them office-ready.

2. Embrace lace
Lace needn't be kept for your lingerie draw; this season the prim fabric is showing up as outerwear. To keep lace looking appropriate in the office, source garments with lace trimming at the collar or sleeves and add a sharp jacket to counteract the sweetness.

3. Add some purple
This regal hue is set to be everywhere this season so inject some brightness into your working world. Purple shades look best teamed with neutral shades, so keep the rest of your outfit (and your make-up) toned down. Don't like the colour? Try orange or emerald green instead.

4. Inject in some ruffles
Ruffles will add some instant style cred to your work wardrobe. Make the look work by balancing ruffles with plainer separates and don't add ruffles to parts of your body you want to keep streamline. Try teaming a Victorian-style ruffle shirt with a pencil skirt and pumps for a dressed-up work look.

5. Invest in a pencil skirts
Pencil skirts are a must-have for any working wardrobe this season. Avoid looking too uptight by adding a V-necked top and long-line necklace, or seek out a coloured or textured version.

6. Accessories with metallics
Metallics have been allowed out during the day this season. But be careful; too much and you'll blind your colleagues. Stick to metallic accessories at work — think belts, bags and shoes.

7. The new sleeveless jacket
With the long line of a jacket and coolness of a vest, this trend is a great addition to your office wardrobe. Try layering one with a sleeveless top and slim-leg trousers.

8. Go sheer
Like lace, sheer fabrics can send off warning bells for the office. But add a base layer and they instantly become workplace-appropriate. So if you have a silk blouse that you're dying to wear to work, make sure you have a camisole to go under it.

9. Add some volume
Volume-heavy silhouettes and quirky shapes (such as puffed sleeves) can be tricky to navigate but they can work for the office. The key is to always team volume with streamline separates. For example, a puffed-up blouse pared with skinny pants and high heels will have you looking sharp.

10. Posh's pixie cut
Victoria Beckham's new dark pixie crop has given short hair renewed life this season. Book an appointment if you dare, but be warned: hair takes more than a season to grow back.